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The Beauty Rules: 1980s

Thu, 11 Aug 2022 03:16:36 GMT

How beauty standards have changed over time and why we should stop paying them any mind.

“The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found."

Joan Rivers

In 1980, researchers compiled the measurements of Playboy centerfolds and Miss America contestants from 1959 to 1978. They wanted to assess any changes to the so-called “ideal” figure over the previous twenty years.

They found that both beauty queens and Playboy bunnies had grown progressively thinner in two decades. The average weight, bust measurement, and hip size decreased, whereas height and waist size increased.

The study also noted that over those same twenty years, there was an increase in magazine articles focused on weight loss in six popular women’s magazines.

Ironically, this slender-trend for beauty ideals in popular media was happening at the same time that Americans, on the whole were, getting fatter.

If the media is responsible for the pressure felt by many women to attain these standards (and the accompanying anxiety, depression, and eating disordered behavior): Why doesn’t it impact every woman to such an extent?

Psychologists say it’s because beauty propaganda has the greatest influence on women who have internalized a thin ideal.

In my next post, I’ll talk more about the various ways someone can be socialized to adopt this internalized thin-ideal.

But for now, let’s look back at the 1980s. What were the beauty rules, and how were women affected by them? What cultural attitudes or events may have had an influence?

The decade of decadence

As the dust of twenty years worth of political upheaval settled in the 1980s, the Second Wave Feminists had made incredible progress.

In 1981, Sandra Day O’Connor would become the first woman nominated to the Supreme Court. Just a few years later, Geraldine Ferraro was tapped to be the first female vice-presidential candidate for a major party.

Women were earning more than half of the bachelor’s and master’s degrees in the country and made up one-third of doctoral candidates.

For perhaps the first time in history, little girls grew up dreaming of becoming whatever they wanted to be.

But two long decades of protests and political upheaval were more than enough for the baby boomer generation. They’d lived through The Vietnam War, the civil rights movement, social unrest, government scandals, and a recession and were ready for some peace, quiet, and prosperity.

Ronald Reagan’s vision for America came at the perfect time. He vowed to restore the free market, encourage private enterprise, and rehabilitate the American Dream. And indeed, his policies were responsible for prosperity not seen since right after WWII.

The Reagans brought glitz and glamour back to the White House, along with permission for Americans to confidently pursue success and affluence. The average eighties woman identified as a feminist, but you were more likely to see her at a shopping mall than a protest.

Television had become an even more significant part of Americans’ lives thanks to cable tv. The sitcoms in those days were a reflection of the times themselves. Shows like The Cosby Show, featured devoted wives and mothers who were also hard-working career women.

TV had a giant impact on fashion trends, especially when MTV made its debut in 1981. Video may have killed a few radio stars, but pop idols like Michael Jackson and Madonna had record-breaking success thanks to it. They could convey more of an image and get their music in front of millions of people at one time. This also meant fashion fads spread across the country like wildfire.

The birth of technology like the personal computer and cell phone improved the standard of living for wealthy American yuppies. Still, it would be some time before smartphones, Tik Tok, or Netflix proliferated (giving unprecedented access to unrealistic images of beauty).

The eighties was the decade of MORE: Big hair, loud fashion, neon color, fast cars, mega-hold hair gel, and acid-washed jeans, the more rips, the better.

Paradoxically, the eighties beauty rules were still about deprivation. When it came to the female body, LESS was still more.

The downside of having it all

Eighties’ beauty ideals

It was the decade that brought us the supermodel. Christie Brinkley, Cindy Crawford, Iman, Elle MacPherson, Linda Evangelista…the list of eighties’ runway stunners is long. They were tall, slender, and strong.

A more muscular look for women was continuing to emerge due to advances in fitness and, in part, the feminist spirit. Muscle tone signified strength, capability, and independence.

Before the fitness craze of the 1980s, a woman aspiring to the cultural ideal needed only deny her appetite. But the stakes were raised, and now there was pressure to tone up. And the modern woman had little excuse to slack off when a VCR meant Jane Fonda could come right into her living room.

Remember the seventies superwoman? The 1980s’ lady wanting to get ahead had a bit more on her plate now—between her sky’s-the-limit career opportunities, family life, and Jazzercise classes.

Power suits were en vogue. Shoulder pads gave the impression of broader shoulders, suggesting strength. Still, the ideal figure was very thin.

The average woman’s BMI was around 25, while Cindy Crawford’s was said to be 19. In fact, the BMIs of several eighties supermodels ranged from just 17 to 20.

Fashions in the eighties showed off the legs, accentuated the breasts and sometimes even exposed the belly. Crop tops, leotards, and leggings left little to the imagination.

Reverberations

Anorexia appeared for the first time in the 1980 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III). (Bulimia wouldn't be added until 1987). Meanwhile, counseling centers expanded to support students with eating disorders.

This most deadly psychiat ric disorder—on the public’s radar for the first time just a decade before—was suddenly the storyline of countless books, tv shows, and movies. And the seventies [1] had merely kicked things off with its record number of anorexia hospitalizations. The eighties saw the troubling pace hit its stride.

Fans watched and worried as stars like Princess Di, Karen Carpenter, and Tracey Gold wasted away before their eyes. Suspicions that these famous ladies were battling eating disorders swirled. Suspicions that were tragically confirmed in the case of Karen Carpenter, who lost her battle in 1983 at just 32. (Princess Diana and Gold would eventually be vocal about their own struggles.)

Thin-ideal internalization

Remember the thin-ideal internalization concept I mentioned earlier? Psychologists say it’s why certain women are more vulnerable to the debilitating, sometimes deadly effects of the unrealistic images around us.

And as technology evolves at an even quicker pace, these images proliferate exponentially.

In my next post I’ll go into the ways women are socialized to adopt this thin-ideal. Keep an eye out for it, as we’ll be going back in time to investigate the beauty rules of the 1990s!

X.O.

Dina B.

References & further reading:

Garner, David & Garfinkel, Paul & Schwartz, D. & Thompson, M.. (1980). Cultural Expectations of Thinness in Women. Psychological Reports. 47. 483-491. 10.2466/pr0.1980.47.2.483.

Kelly D. Brownell,

Dieting and the search for the perfect body: Where physiology and culture collide,

Behavior Therapy,

Volume 22, Issue 1,

1991

Dion, K., Berscheid, E., & Walster, E. (1972). What is beautiful is good. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 24(3), 285–290.

Calogero R.M., Boroughs M., Thompson J.K. (2007) The Impact of Western Beauty Ideals on the Lives of Women: A Sociocultural Perspective. In: Swami V., Furnham A. (eds) The Body Beautiful. Palgrave Macmillan, London.

Fasting Girls: The History of Anorexia Nervosa

By Joan Jacobs Brumberg

The Beauty Rules: 1970s

Sat, 11 Jun 2022 00:13:42 GMT

How beauty standards have changed over time and why we should stop paying them any mind.

“They have arrived like a new immigrant wave in male America. They may be cops, judges, military officers, telephone linemen, cab drivers, pipefitters, editors, business executives – or mothers and housewives, but not quite the same subordinate creatures they were before.

Across the broad range of American life…1975 was not so much the Year of the Woman as the Year of the Women…”

Time (magazine), January 5, 1976

Anyone who doesn’t believe culture fosters a specific beauty “ideal” need only hear the opening line of the Miss America Theme Song, written in 1954: “There she is, Miss America. There she is, your ideal.”

But the point is already made by the existence of a “beauty pageant” at all.

We’ve been talking about beauty ideals and how societal and cultural forces play a role in shaping the decade’s celebrated silhouette. (Be sure to read my thoughts as they relate to th e 1950s and 1960s.) [1]

Beauty standards have existed for seemingly all of time, despite sweeping cultural changes. But if any decade might’ve led to the extinction of beauty standards altogether, it would’ve been the 1970s. (No such luck.)

Fierce females of the 1970s

The protests of the 1960’s were just a warm up for the activists who carried the torch into the seventies. If the sixties was the decade of change, the seventies was the decade of “change faster.”

Feminism was the largest of the many social justice movements and broke from the pack with rapid progress. The fierce, fearless females back then played a huge role in changing the face of society.

Census data tells us that in 1951, 22% of married women worked outside the home. That number jumped to 68% by 1987. Previously male-dominated universities and indu stries finally granted access to women. Our opportunities even expanded to holding political office. But be she physician, priest, or president, many career women weren't willing to forgo motherhood.

The sexual revolution

Credit feminism, greater access to the pill and abortion, or the free-wheeling, rebellious spirit of the decade, but sexual norms they were a-changin'.

A financially independent woman married later. More reliable contraception and a growing number of unmarried young adults gave rise to the single’s scene. Sex before marriage was losing its stigma.

No longer just a baby maker or vessel for her husband's pleasure, women were empowered to enjoy sex and have more of a say in the bedroom.

Superwoman syndrome

While feminism opened many new doors for women, it also changed what was expected of the modern woman.

By 1984, books like Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz's The Superwoman Syndrome called attention to this pressure. Shaevitz says:

"the greatest myth ever perpetrated on the modern-day woman…this type of thinking implies that all women should not only be able to do it all but that all women should want it all."

To excel at work and raise a family was more than had ever been asked of a man.

The decade of Wonder Woman

After making her first comic book appearance in the forties, DC Comics’ Wonder Woman flew into the greater cultural consciousness in 1976, as if right on cue.

Lynda Carter was every bit the classic seventies beauty. She was taller and (slightly) more substantial than the sixties' Twiggy-type.

Muscle tone on women was having a moment. Farah Fawcett, Raquel Welch, and Jane Fonda were also more athletic than starlets from previous years.

But THIN was still very much IN.

The fashions of the seventies weren't much help. Fitted Spandex and polyester fabrics were popular (and unforgiving). And women wore pants now as a general rule, leaving less to the imagination than flowy skirts. The high, tight waistline called for bodysuits since you couldn't "tuck in" and stay smooth.

In the seventies, the average American woman's BMI was around 24.9. But celebs like Morgan Fairchild and Joni Mitchell had BMIs of 18 and 20.5, respectively. The bodies society deemed most beautiful were out of reach for the average woman. Certainly without an unhealthy amount of effort.

Sadly, many women were happy to oblige.

Blame the skinny starlets, the Spandex, or the singles scene, but the seventies superwoman was aware of every calorie that passed her lips. Diet pills were big business, along with fitness classes and cigarettes (often advertised as a way to keep off the pounds).

Maybe controlling her figure meant she could appear to have it all under control? If she couldn't be a superhero, she could at least try to look like one…

The downside of having it all

Feminist protests over sexist and degrading advertising spurred a giant pendulum swing. By the early eighties, women's empowerment was at the heart of almost every marketing campaign. And feminism sold! Especially as women's spending power increased.

But by asking to see a more empowered woman, feminists had inadvertently spawned another type of propaganda. In "Airbrushed Nation: The Lure and Loathing of Female's Magazines'', Jennifer Nelson blames this new trend in marketing for what she calls “superwoma n complex.”

"On one hand, the [the seventies'] woman was empowered ... she was a briefcase-carrying worker outside the home. But then there was the superwoman complex that came along and meant that while she was doing all that, she was also raising kids, and she was also trying to please her man, it was like, OK women — you wanted it all, so now you can work, you can raise kids, you can look sexy and make the money."

-AirbrushedNation: The Lure and Loathing of Female's Magazines, Jennifer Nelson

The liberated woman in these new-and-improved ads was also “new-and-improved.” No longer just thin, gorgeous, and young, she was also high-achieving!

Deadly repercussions

Meanwhile, the sixties and seventies saw cases of anorexia requiring hospitalization rise significantly. [1] Strangely, the number has remained relatively stable since.

[1] Fasting Girls: The History of Anorexia Nervosa

By Joan Jacobs Brumberg

Was the renewed preference for a slim figure in the sixties and seventies to blame for the surge? Broader access to television, movies, and magazines? Were women buckling under the pressures of a rapidly changing society where their roles and responsibilities had shifted dramatically?

Before the 1970s, anorexia and bulimia were topics that only doctors and psychologists spoke about. But in 1978, a groundbreaking book was published by psychoanalyst Dr. Hilde Burch: The Golden Cage: the Enigma of Anorexia Nervosa.

Hundreds of thousands of copies were sold, dragging the epidemic into the spotlight.

But nothing catapulted eating disorders into the cultural consciousness like the tragic story of Karen Carpenter. Fans looked on with concern as Carpenter grew progressively thinner through the seventies. Her 1983 death (heart failure due to anorexia nervosa) received extensive media coverage. She was 32.

Some credit increased awareness for the alarming spike in eating disorders in the seventies, believing many women suffered in silence before that.

But it IS strange that the largest spike in history happened just as women were gaining so much independence.

Naomi Wolfe, feminist author of The Beauty Myth, noticed coincidences like this. She believed there was a “beauty myth” propagated and manipulated by advertisers. Their agenda: To keep women in check.

A woman with a low self-esteem, an eating disorder, or preoccupied with her looks would find it difficult to compete with her male counterpart, goes Wolfe’s theory. And of course, that would be the point.

It’s been theorized that feminism itself is responsible for eating disorders. As offensive as that is to most women, (if you’d only stayed at home, you wouldn’t have these body image issues!) It's fascinating to try to follow the logic there.

Myth busting

Whoever is to blame for them, there seem to be two myths: the beauty myth– that a woman’s principal value is her appearance–and the superwoman myth– that success in every arena is not only possible–it’s a prerequisite.

These myths persist today, even if to a slightly lesser degree.

One of the best ways I’ve found to send these dangerous myths packing is to surround myself with a posse of inspiring AF women.

Not only do you reap the rewards of friendship, but a crew of real life wonder women reminds you:

Not a single damn one of us is perfect.
We’re strong as hell anyway.
You don’t have to go it alone.

And having real-ass women i n your life means you never forget what true beauty looks like.

X.O.

Dina B.

The Beauty Rules: 1960s

Fri, 13 May 2022 13:11:02 GMT

How beauty standards have changed over time and why we should stop paying them any mind.

“Ideal beauty is ideal because it does not exist…"

--Naomi Wolfe

Each decade or so, a new prototype ascends, bearing little resemblance to the one who came before her. The dramatically changing beauty standards are enough to give a gal whiplash.

Despite the fickle standards, putting any body shape on a pedestal (to the exclusion of others) is harmful. The subconscious yearn for society’s “stamp of approval” has dangerous implications for a woman’s achievement and personal fulfillment.

Most women experience constant self-doubt and self-ridicule related to their appearance, and worse, feel shameful for caring at all. How does this happen?

In my last blog, we began investigating this question by looking at the1950s. We learned that the preference for Marilyn Monroe and buxom pin-up girls was strongly influenced by the culture and politics of the time.

So, what was society like the following decade, and did it impact the beauty standards of the day? How were women in the sixties affected?

The decade of change

The feminists who won the right to vote near the turn of the century would scarcely recognize the subjugated women chained to housework in the 1950s.

Betty Friedan was one such woman, and in 1963 she wrote a book about it. The Feminine Mystique , explored the loss of personal identity and disenchantment felt by fifties' women relegated to the home. It was a bestseller, strikinga chord with similarly unhappy females. Friedan's work was the impetus for Second Wave Feminism.

The sixties were a time of enormous cultural upheaval and transformation.

Just as women were finding their voice again, the civil rights movement was gaining steam. And as people of color fought for equality, peace-loving flower children protested the Vietnam War.

The feminists were hardly a unified front. As women from various age groups, ethnicities, and ideologieschallenged what it meant to be female, they had theoretical differences. Women of color splintered off as themovement failed to address their struggle against racism. But even the white, middle-class women couldn’t reach a consensus.

One clashing philosophy had to do with just how equal-to-men women saw themselves. Total equality, someargued, eliminates femininity. They instead believed that what makes us female is to be celebrated.

Mod and a frail bod

The baby boom of the 1950s meant that for the first time, close to half the American population were teenagers.Advertisers wanted a cut of the younger set's disposable income.

They keyed in on the rebellious spirit of teens, who wanted nothing to do with the subservient lifestyle they'd seen their mothers endure. Popular makeup and fashion trended towards a youthful, adolescent look, ushering in models like Twiggy—a name now synonymous with a frail, almost pre-pubescent frame.

But, while women in the fifties were influenced by one standard of beauty, diversity of thought amongst activists ledto diverse beauty trends. The sixties saw fashion and makeup become a form of self-expression. You could very often identify a woman's political affiliations by her fashion sense.

The preference for a slender figure, however, was ubiquitous. The popular press responded to Second Wave Feminism by replacing ads for household appliances with those for diet pills.

Beauty bondage endures

"What editors are obliged to appear to say that men want from women is actually what their advertisers want from women."

-Naomi Wolf

The decade that ushered in the Civil Rights Act and unfettered access to contraception was said to have set women free. But, despite tremendous strides, the pressure to discipline their bodies intensified.

The curvy, mature body worshipped in the fifties was replaced by a skinny, flat-chested,

non-threatening one. According to the popular media, the successful woman was slender with self-control.

The boom in teen culture was one influence, but the products aimed at women also changed. The hole left by cleaning gadgets needed filling, and diet and exercise aides were a frequent substitute.

Feminist writer Naomi Wolf says it's no coincidence that just as women were granted new freedoms, consumerism pushed for more control over their bodies. In her 1991 book, The Beauty Myth , Wolf describes how popular mediahelped replace the endless housework of the fifties with endless "beauty work" in the sixties.

Progressive women in the sixties would be put off by ads that suggested they be preoccupied with cleaning. Sokeeping her preoccupied with her looks was more profitable. And the ad men didn’t seem concerned with how detrimental this was to every other part of her.

According to the journal of Current Psychiatry Reports , the incidence of anorexia nervosa requiring admission to the hospital rose significantly during the 1960s and '70s, plateauing around 2012. The concept of body imagemotivating food deprivation didn't even emerge until the mid-sixties. Another coincidence?

Just as pop culture centered on youthfulness, entire industries shifted to keep up with activism, and multimedia was more accessible than ever, women were turning on their bodies in record numbers.

The same women who fought for equality in the 60s, ditched their "Mother's Little Helpers" in favor of diet pills andcigarettes. Despite all the positive social change of the decade, we hadn’t broken free from beauty rule-bondage.

X.O.

Dina B.

References:

Friedan, Betty. The Feminine Mystique. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2013. Wolf, N. (2015). The beauty myth. Vintage Classics.

hooks, bell. Aint I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism. New York: Routledge, 2015.

Beauty, Body Image, and the Media

By Jennifer S. Mills, Amy Shannon and Jacqueline Hogue

Submitted: November 21st 2016Reviewed: April 3rd 2017Published: October 25th 2017 DOI: 10.5772/intechopen.68944

Dell'Osso, L., Abelli, M., Carpita, B., Pini, S., Castellini, G., Carmassi, C., & Ricca, V. (2016). Historical evolution of the concept of anorexia nervosa andrelationships with orthorexia nervosa, autism, and obsessive-compulsive spectrum. Neuropsychiatric disease and treatment, 12, 1651–1660. https://doi.org/10.2147/NDT.S108912

The Beauty Rules

Fri, 22 Apr 2022 06:02:21 GMT

How beauty standards have changed over time and why we should stop paying them any mind.

“…research consistently shows that inside the majority of the West’s controlled, attractive, successful working women, there is a secret ‘underlife’ poisoning our freedom… a dark vein of self-hatred, physical obsession, terror of aging and dreaded lost control…

The qualities that a given period calls beautiful in women are merely symbols of the female behavior that that period considers desirable…

…conscious market manipulation: powerful industries…have arisen from the capital made out of unconscious anxieties…”

--Naomi Wolfe, The Beauty Myth

Beauty standards are ever-changing. The size and shape of the hottest celebs vary widely from one decade to the next. Like fashion trends, you can often identify a period just by the silhouettes of its beauty icons.

Near the turn of the century, ladies wore corsets and bustles to cinch in their waists and make their backsides appear larger. Over a century later, women are having surgery to achieve a similar look. Of course, for decades in between, curves were a dirty word. We counted calories, starved, and spent hours in the gym, desperate to whittle ourselves away.

We all want to feel beautiful. Instinct tells us we’re more likely to fit in socially if we’re attractive. Pre-civilization, social acceptance was a matter of survival. Research has shown that at first glance, the beautiful are perceived as intelligent and trustworthy, are more persuasive, and have a better shot at getting ahead in life.

But, when cultural ideology dictates what qualifies as beautiful, women are harmed in profound ways. Eating disorders and body dissatisfaction are just one part of the equation. Women who internalize these harsh standards experience a deep sense of unhappiness and even unknowingly stifle their potential.

In this series, I'll explore the changing beauty ideals for women across time, starting with the 1950s. We'll discuss how they came about and how they affected the women that lived through them.

In the 1950s

With the men off at war in the forties, women kept the country going by taking on traditionally "male" jobs like driving trucks or working in factories. Magazines portrayed them as heroines. They wore understated, plain-Jane fashion, and the focus was on their contributions in the name of patriotism.

When the war ended, millions of women lost or left their jobs. The return of soldiers led to a surge in marriages and skyrocketing birth rates. Women were encouraged to return to their traditional roles of wife and mother.

Their modest, working-woman attire was traded for an ultra-feminine, corset-cinched, bust enhancing style of dress. The model woman was now a housekeeper, baby-maker, an d sex object, and the latest fashions helped them keep up appearances. No one embodied this look more than curvy starlets like Marilyn Monroe and Kim Novak.

The Bombshell Era

1950s Hollywood brought us lots of legendary ladies, but Marilyn Monroe was the queen. She's still known around the globe as THE blonde bombshell, and despite ever-changing beauty standards, she remains a symbol of ultimate female beauty.

Her softer, fuller figure bears little resemblance to today's toned and taught prototype and has made her something of a role model for the modern-day body-positivity movement. But diary entries and those close to Monroe reveal she struggled with her body image and adhered to a strict diet to maintain her figure.

It's tragic that arguably the sexiest woman alive didn't believe her body was beautiful. And in a cruel twist of irony, women in the fifties saw ads that promised to help them gain weight to look more like Marilyn. It seems no woman is safe from the pressure to be something other than herself.

“Why do I feel this torture… I feel less human than the others…Even physically, I have always been sure that something was not right with me."

-Marilyn Monroe, 1955 diary entry

In addition to serving up the idealized physical archetype, actresses in the fifties portrayed a particular personality. When they weren't being unabashedly sexy, they played child-like and demure. This was the form and function of a woman who would happily tend to her home and husband. At least that was the idea.

Indoctrination

The buxom babes on screen were just one influence on women in the 1950s. Magazines were all-the-rage and focused heavily on domestic life. They featured tips for child-rearing, recipes, ways to please your husband, ads for appliances, cleaning products, and makeup, hair, and fashion advice.

The women pictured were curvy but dai nty, perfectly made-up, subservient, and content in the bedroom, kitchen, and nursery.

In her book, The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolfe writes:

"women's magazines have been the most powerful influence in changing women's roles in society. They have consistently glamorized whatever the economy, their advertisers and, during wartime, the government needed at that moment from women."

Since magazines and mainstream media (movies, music, TV, etc.) are made possible by ads, the standards they perpetuate are meant to enrich the advertisers. For example, if a magazine can make you insecure about the size of your breasts, you're more likely to buy the padded bra they advertise. It's a rotten trick that's been so successful it continues to this day.

Deep Impact

In the 50s, self-actualization was promised to the woman who was perfectly dolled up after a day spent cleaning and caring for children, ready to offer her husband a drink and a satisfying meal when he returned from work. But women failed to find happiness in this pursuit. Many ended up on a therapist’s couch, desperate to get to the bottom of their emptiness.

The epidemic of dissatisfaction was widespread enough for magazines like Ladies Home Journal to suggest tranquilizers like valium to cure their discontent. “Mother’s little helpers” was a euphemism for barbiturates prescribed to women who were unhappy in their new role. They promised to improve mood and make all their (unfulfilling) work look effortless.

How many of us take antidepressants today for some similar dissatisfaction with ourselves or our lives?

Feminist Betty Friedan lived through this time and in her book Feminine Mystique writes:

“They could spend years on the therapist’s couch…looking for a way to be fulfilled with their roles as mothers and housewives, but the problem was still there…they were still looking for their real aspirations and true personalities…

When a society asks so little from women, as was the case in the fifties, every woman has to listen to her inner voice to find her identity and ways to develop it.”

Second-wave feminism was born out of these 1950s frustrations. But the media machine has its finger on the pulse of the consumer and cleverly serves up new expectations to go with the changing times. In my next blog, we'll talk about the following decade’s beauty ideals, how they came about, and their impact on women.

When companies who get rich off our hang-ups dictate how we feel about ourselves, we'll never be good enough. Who are they to tell us what's beautiful? It’s time we resist this indoctrination and embrace what makes each of us uniquely stunning.

X.O.

Dina B.

References:

Nobles, Jayme S., "From Marilyn Monroe to Cindy Crawford: A Historical Analysis of Women’s Body Image Depicted in Popular Magazines from 1952 to 1995" (2014). Honors Theses. 219. https://aquila.usm.edu/honors_theses/219

https://www.csustan.edu/sites/default/files/honors/documents/journals/soundings/Holt.pdf

https://www.medicaldaily.com/history-body-image-america-how-ideal-female-and-male-body-has-changed-over-360492

The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan

The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolfe

https://themarilynmonroecollection.com/marilyn-monroe-true-size/

Fragments: Poems, Intimate Notes, Letters, Marilyn Monroe, Bernard Comment

Are You Aging “Gracefully?"

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 06:22:19 GMT

Have you ever had a friend, colleague, aunt, or mother-in-law get judgmental with you when they find out you invest in cosmetic treatments? Why do some people still see “aging gracefully” as a kind of moral high ground? And who decided that taking steps to look your best is any less “graceful” than deciding against it, anyway?

Merriam Webster defines the word “graceful” as follows: Displaying grace in form or action: pleasing or attractive in line, proportion, or movement. I’m not sure how neglecting your appearance as you age became synonymous with grace, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it?

There’s certainly nothing wrong with choosing to let nature take its course, don’t get me wrong! But don’t tell me the same people who would shame your choices aren’t coloring their gray hair, buying eye creams and makeup, or on the hunt for that perfect pair of jeans; you know, the kind that lifts the booty or flattens the tummy…

The fact is, we all want to look good, and most of us are content to look just a bit more put together and refreshed. Perhaps those who would give you the side-eye assume you’re unhappy with yourself and seeking to totally change your appearance. Alternatively, they might secretly wish they could muster the courage to get the same kinds of treatments.

Plenty of well-meaning finger waggers still believe any cosmetic procedure will be obvious and leave you looking fake. After all, anytime they notice someone with "work," it appears a bit odd. It never occurs to them that they will never notice tastefully done cosmetic treatments. People see impeccably done enhancements more often than the conspicuous kind, but they’d never know it.

Subtle enhancements are the very definition of graceful. They’re an act of self-care and a form of self-expression. (regardless of wh at Aunt Hilda thinks).

Just remember, people who would be critical are usually misinformed. You don't have to justify how you choose to feel beautiful to anyone. Besides, when they see how great you look, they may just be begging to tag-a-long at your next appointment.

If enhancing your appearance comes from a place of self-love, that’s every bit as graceful as choosing to do nothing. And I challenge you to show me someone who isn’t doing something to feel more self-assured. Whether it’s straightening your hair, getting your nails done, plumping your pout, or smoothing your wrinkles, ain’t nobody got more grace than a confident woman.

XO,

Dina B.

The Myth of Perfect Facial Symmetry

Sat, 13 Nov 2021 18:40:51 GMT

We get a lot of mixed messages about what it means to be beautiful. We're told beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is only skin deep. Imperfection is beauty. Sentiments like these are as varied as they are numerous.

Meanwhile, artists, scholars, and beauty gurus espouse their own theories. You've likely heard that true beauty relies on perfect facial symmetry. Then there are the ratios and templates that illustrate "ideal" facial proportions. All things considered, is it any wonder many of us feel like we (quite literally) don't measure up?

Thankfully, the notion that beauty relies on symmetry—or a complex equation—has been debunked. Studies have shown that the pursuit of perfect facial symmetry only results in disappointment. Attempting to "correct" asymmetry actually creates a perception of "averageness" and tends to diminish one's natural beauty. Researchers discovered that perfectly symmetrical faces are generally perceived as less att ractive, plain, unemotional, and rigid.

Asymmetry is not only everywhere; it's very often exquisite. Nothing that exists in nature is perfectly symmetrical, and that includes the human face. If it's not manmade, there's a good chance it's asymmetrical. Think about all the breathtaking "inconsistencies" that exist in nature!

"But," you're thinking, "the most beautiful people are at least closer to being symmetrical, right?" Not quite. Let's look at some examples.

What follows are some faces known for their beauty next to computer-generated, mirror-images of their right and left sides. Which version do you find most attractive?

These examples demonstrate two things. First, even beauty icons (both past and present) have asymmetrical faces. When we make them symmetrical, they can look like a different person altogether! If these celebrities are considered gorgeous despite their mismatched sides, clearly, symmetry isn't a prerequisite of beauty.

Second, it proves that the quest for symmetry is misguided. In the original (real) photo on the left, there is balance and harmony to the face. The two distinct sides come together to create an overall impression of attractiveness and even charisma. When one side is mirrored to create perfect symmetry, the appeal we saw in the first photo is gone. Some of them no longer even
look human!

The next time you're tempted to start comparing one side of your face to the other, think of a flower, a tree, or your favorite celebrity. Asymmetries are not only essential to their beauty but to their very essence.

Though it might sound cliché, our peculiarities are what make each of us uniquely beautiful. When the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, even the parts you've deemed "flawed" are valuable. So while we focus on playing up what we love about ourselves, let's also work on loving what we don't!

XO,

Dina B.

Zoom Dysmorphia: How the Pandemic Made Us Feel Ugly

Sat, 25 Sep 2021 04:02:19 GMT

F**k 2020.

Remember all the memes about how much 2020 sucked? Think about our naive excitement to ring in the new year in 2019. A few months later, so much changed, and so quickly. Just weeks into the madness, we all longed to go back to normal.

But slowly, lockdowns, social distancing, masking, remote work/school, and videoconferencing made it harder to recall what normal even was. For as much as we hated the changes happening around us, we were changing too.

The Shift

As an aesthetic provider, I became acutely aware of a societal change in self-perception. Despite the morbid realities of Covid and the limited ability to be seen in-office, the number of patients seeking to improve their appearance skyrocketed.

Dermatologist Shadi Kourosh and her colleagues examined the trend and published their findings in Facial Plastic Surgery & Aesthetic Medicine. [1]

Their research confirmed what many theorized: Cosmetic consults have surged, at least in part due to hours and hours of videoconferencing. They dubbed the phenomenon "Zoom Dysmorphia," explaining that we never see ourselves quite the way we do on a videoconference…

“Zoom adds an additional level of complexity by displaying one's emotions in real-time, leading users to watch themselves speak and react to others, whic h may cause a person to notice expression lines and wrinkles they are not used to seeing while looking in the mirror. Additionally, one's reflection is displayed side by side to other members of the call, allowing for easy comparison and self-judgment…

…as patients remain unaware of how cameras can distort and degrade video quality and inaccurately represent one's true appearance… the result is an overall more rounded face, wider set eyes, broader nose, taller forehead, and disappearing ears obscured by cheeks…”

[1] Shauna M. Rice, Julia A. Siegel, Tiffany Libby, Emmy Graber, Arianne Shadi Kourosh,

Zooming into cosmetic procedures during the COVID-19 pandemic: The provider’s perspective,

International Journal of Women's Dermatology,

Volume 7, Issue 2,

2021,

Pages 213-216,

ISSN 2352-6475

As if staring at this funhouse mirror version of ourselves isn't bad enough, we can't help but feel we're being watched. And unlike in real-life settings, we can't actually know who may or may not be watching! (Truthfully, people are likely just as preoccupied with their own unsympathetic reflection.)

To Make Matters Worse

The increased time at home meant social media use was at an all-time high. After hours of staring at a Bizzaro World webcam version of one's face, many would pour over perfectly staged, Facetuned, and filtered photos on platforms like Instagram. For young females especially, this slowly reinforced ideas about what they "ought" to look like.

Remember Snapchat Dysmorphia? The term was coined by psychologists in 2015 to describe the preponderance of aesthetic or plastic surgery patients seeking treatment to resemble the tuned-up, unrealistic selfies they'd create (in apps like Snapchat).

Perhaps the ability to control our appearance on social media made the loss of control we experienced on Zoom all the more upsetting. Sure, we have little control over our appearance in real life, but at least we can run and hide! (Not to mention, the typical in-person meeting doesn't involve everyone in attendance staring at one another blankly.)

The Impact

While lots of us are uncomfortable with videoconferencing, a subset of individuals finds it downright debilitating. Studies say 1 in 50 people suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder, a body-image disorder characterized by persistent, intrusive thoughts about an imagined or minor defect of the face or body. Given the shame inherent to the condition, the numbers of those affected are likely even higher.

The average person is self-conscious about some aspect of their appearance. Still, people with BDD have an all-consuming preoccupation with the supposed flaw, causing significant emotional distress and impairment. As many as 24-28% will attempt suicide. [1]
[1] Phillips K. A. (2007). Suicidality in Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Primary psychiatry, 14(12), 58–66.

The virtual mirror of videoconferencing is traumatizing for folks with BDD, and experts now believe it can trigger BDD in those susceptible. Meanwhile, it looks like these virtual meetups aren’t going anywhere any time soon.

The Future

As vaccinations offer the promise of a waning pandemic, Kourosh et al. (2021) determined that returning to more in-person interaction is something many, especially young people, are anxious about. The researchers blame videoconferencing for exacerbating that anxiety… [1]

[1] Channi Silence, Shauna M. Rice, Samara Pollock, Janet E. Lubov, Linda O. Oyesiku, Sonya Ganeshram, Alexa Mendez, Freyj a Feeney, Arianne Shadi Kourosh,

Life After Lockdown: Zooming Out on Perceptions in the Post-Videoconferencing Era,

International Journal of Women's Dermatology,

2021,

“Three in ten said they planned to invest in their appearance as a coping strategy to deal with returning to in-person events…

…Those who spent more time staring into the "technological mirror" expressed more anxiety…”

[1] Phillips K. A. (2007). Suicidality in Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Primary psychiatry, 14(12), 58–66.

[1] Channi Silence, Shauna M. Rice, Samara Pollock, Janet E. Lubov, Linda O. Oyesiku, Sonya Ganeshram, Alexa Mendez, Freyja Feeney, Arianne Shadi Kourosh,

Life After Lockdown: Zooming Out on Perceptions in the Post-Videoconferencing Era,

International Journal of Women's Dermatology,

2021,

To Cope

If seeing yourself through the lens of a webcam is even slightly unsettling, here are some tips to hopefully lessen your distress:

Hide your "self-view." On Zoom and most other videoconferencing software, there's an option to stop seeing yourself. Everyone else will still see you, but at least you won't be distracted by your appearance. The instructions to do this on Zoom are here.
Tur n your camera off. Having your camera off throughout the meeting can ironically garner more attention than just going along with the crowd. People tend to wonder what you're up to that can't be seen, haha. If you must turn your camera off, just flip it on when you're being directly addressed or about to speak.
Remember that your appearance is distorted by the webcam and that everyone on the call is feeling pretty uggo.
The people who matter love you for who you are, not how you look. And you know what's really cool? Your personality and beautiful soul shine through your eyes and even color your voice. That sparkle doesn't translate to Zoom. As we return to more in-person events, note how much more vibrant your friends and colleagues look in three dimensions.
Consider perspective: You're standing in front of the most beautiful sunset you've ever seen. You're just bowled over by its beauty. You take some pics to show a friend. Are they able to experience the same awe you felt when you stood in front of that sunset? A picture might be worth 1000 words, but the real deal can hardly be put into words. And you’re the real deal.

XO,

Dina B.

If negative feelings about your appearance are dragging you down, know that you’re not alone. It can be difficult to talk about but confiding in a therapist is the first step towards reclaiming your peace. This past year and a half have been legit traumatic for all of us, so try to be gentle with yourself.

And should you need a reminder of just how gorgeous you are, that’s what I’m here for.

Piece of Me: How a Greedy Media Cashed in on Stigma, Helping to Seal Britney’s Fate

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 01:18:59 GMT

Piece of Me~Britney Spears (2007) Exc.

Tryin' and pissin' me off
Well get in line with the paparazzi
Who's flippin' me off
Hopin' I'll resort to startin' havoc
And end up settlin' in court
Now are you sure you want a piece of me?

How have we not talked about Britney yet, y'all? If you're not familiar with the #FreeBritney movement by now, it might be time to come out from under that rock, LOL, but I'll try to get you up to speed…

The hashtag #FreeBritney first appeared over a decade ago, roughly a year after Britney's father, Jamie, petitioned the court to control his daughter's financial, medical, and personal affairs, citing concerns over Britney's mental health.

Throughout the thirteen years that Britney's father has been her conservator, she's put out several albums, toured the world, appeared as a judge on The X Factor, and completed a Las Vegas residency grossing 138 million dollars.

The pop star is worth sixty million bucks but lives on a fixed monthly allowance and has limited autonomy. Meanwhile, Mr. Spears and a few co-conservators profit off the arrangement.

Something about the situation certainly seemed sus, but Britney herself rarely made mention of it until recently. When concerned fans took it upon themselves to investigate, the #FreeBritney movement was born. It's since gone viral on social media, spawned a petition to the White House, and produced hundreds of picketers with pink signs outside the LA courthouse.

Last February, the documentary " Framing Britney Spears " highlighted the movement and may have empowered Britney to finally speak up. Because in June, thirty-nine-year-old Britney broke her silence , asking the court to end the conservatorship and confirming several of the "conspiracy theories" about exploitation and abuse under the arrangement. She spoke for over twenty heartbreaking minutes detailing her frustrations.

On August 12th, her father agreed to step down from his role as conservator. While this doesn't yet grant Brit independence, she'd been adamant about removing her father for some time, so it's a step in an optimistic direction.

Reviewing the events that led to Britney losing her children and personhood, I was struck by the role the media and paparazzi played in her public "breakdown." It was easy back then to get sucked into tabloids that sold us the train wreck, party girl story, but what was really going on with Britney?

In 2007, her marriage to Kevin Federline ended, and the ensuing custody battle over her two little boys sent her into a tailspin. Her youngest son was still nursing when Britney's visitation rights were limited.

Some close to the singer speculate she was suffering from postpartum depression, a theory that was apparently never investigated. She sought solace in drugs and alcohol, further jeopardizing her parental rights.

The paparazzi were relentless as she unraveled, and their constant surveillance and interrogation only fueled her infamous outbursts.

Most vividly remember the moment she shaved her signature blonde locks off as greedy photogs snapped away, eager to capitalize on a young woman's suffering. The incident followed Federline refusing to let Britney see her children. It's no wonder she ended up taking an umbrella to a pap's car.

A standoff with police (when she refused to relinquish custody of her son Jayden) ended with a 5150 psychiatric hold. It was then that her father petitioned the court for legal authority over her affairs.

Parents always worry about the choices their kids are making, and Britney's immense fame and wealth gave her unlimited opportunities to f-up. The need for intervention at the time was clear, especially with children in the picture. Was such an extreme measure warranted, though? And is it still justified after all these years?

Britney is clearly capable of quite a lot. Millions of dollars’ worth of quite a lot. And when the team that decides whether or not she will work are also beneficiaries of said work, can they act purely in her best interests? And what are her best interests, anyway?

The conservatorship was said to be temporary at the outset. Still, the arrangement was extended year after year, long after the media and general public lost interest in every sordid detail of Britney's life.

Who knows what Britney's life and legacy would look like without the restraints of her conservatorship? Some point to her sixty-million-dollar fortune as proof the arrangement has been good for her. But the only person who truly knows what's good for Britney is Britney.

That's the thing with civil rights. We all get to choose our good, no matter how bad it might look to someone else.

The media's constant antagonization and character assassination compounded the pressures of being in the public eye, the breakdown of her family, and any mental health challenges she may (or may not) have been experiencing. Sadly, she was an easy mark for an industry that knows exactly what it takes to cash in.

A decade later, our society seems more sensitive to mental health struggles and the general human condition. We've seen more of it, or we're more informed, perhaps. Stars like Kanye West, Demi Lovato, and Olympian Simone Biles have struggled publicly without becoming the butt of insensitive jokes. Certainly not to the degree we saw with Britney, Lindsay, or Amanda.

New laws in California have reigned in the paparazzi a bit, and social media has changed their role tremendously, too. But Ms. Spears' situation is a stark reminder of why we all need to keep doing better.

Now can we #FreeBritney already?

XO,

Dina B.

Masking Up: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Sun, 08 Aug 2021 03:50:22 GMT

The Ugly (Let's get it out of the way, shall we?)

Wearing a face-covering has been fodder for heated debate since the onset of the pandemic. What started out as a way to keep our potentially contagious droplets to ourselves quickly became code for one's political affiliation or symbolic of your care and concern for the greater good. But as the "new normal" goes on to become anything but new, there‘s a lot happ ening behind each of our masks that's rarely addressed.

I know it’s difficult to separate the idea of masks from the divisive debates they’ve sparked in our country, but if you can, set aside any feelings the issue might bring up for you for a moment. Let’s explore how this small piece of cloth affected us as individuals, far and away from the hostility and judgment it's provoked.

The Good

I can't be the only woman who enjoys the free feeling of running into the grocery store sans makeup; knowing my mask makes me more difficult to recognize (along with any flaw my makeup would usually conceal). And as an aesthetic provider, wearing a mask lessens any coffee breath concerns I’d usually have while invading patients' personal space the way I must. I now find myself wondering if gum and mint sales suffered thanks to widespread mask use…

These may seem like petty reasons to favor masks, but we all feel a certain pressure to present our best selves to the world. And people who struggle with social anxiety have a heightened awareness of their perceived flaws. For them, masks serve as a kind of security blanket, concealing much of their face and lessening their anxiety in social settings.

Masking up can seriously impede one's ability to decipher or convey facial expressions, but it's not always a bad thing. Retail workers, for example, have enjoyed the ability to grimace without detection when a rude or disgruntled customer directs frustrations their way. Or on the flip side, there are plenty of situations where you experience pressure to smile or appear friendly when you're just not feeling it. Wearing a mask makes it much easier to fake it, and let's face it, somet imes we kind of have to.

Most women are familiar with the "male gaze," but you don't have to be female to experience unwelcome sexual attention. Whether real or perceived, once experienced, you're always subconsciously on guard. Throw on a mask, and you've got a veritable invisibility cloak. It not only signals "don't look at me" but provides the wearer a heightened sense of privacy. I know I certainly experienced the power of this shield from unwanted attention.

And then there's the constant self-scrutiny many of us are subjected to, thanks to countless Zoom meetings. Perhaps worthy of a separate post altogether, our newfound reliance on video conferencing means hours on end of staring at probably the least flattering reflection of ourselves possible. Following a workday that affords hours on end to analyze every last centimeter of one's face, is it any surprise we'd be more than happy to cover it up before venturing out of the house? (Note: You really don't look like that person you see on Zoom. Promise.)

The Bad

While masks offer several benefits (blocking nasty Covid droplets aside), there's no denying they've made it harder for us to communicate and socialize. Facial expressions are powerful and convey so much without saying a word; plus, they're a language that's shared across cultures. No matter where you go in the world, the people you meet will know if you're joyful or fearful simply by the look on your face.

The mouth is considered one of the most critical areas for deciphering emotion, and subtle expressions go unnoticed underneath a mask (just ask the aforementioned retail worker). It's also been said that you must see someone's face to fully trust them.

Masks have made life especially difficult for the hearing i mpaired, who rely heavily on lip-reading to get through the day. We tend to forget that sign language only works when everyone can sign.

Small talk is often out the window: It takes much more effort to be heard through your mask by that stranger in the produce aisle. (Of course, if you despise small talk, this one goes up in the "good" section, haha.)

While masks can offer a sense of security for those with social anxiety, some feel more anxious in their face-covering. The words "mask anxiety" were actually trending on Google shortly after masking became the norm. Some experience claustrophobia or have a real fear they can't get enough oxygen through their mask, while survivors of specific types of trauma find the sight of face masks triggering. Seeing people with face-coverings reminds us of the tragic consequences and uncertain future the pandemic has wrought. But for those victimized at the hands of someone wearing a mask, it's a sight that can stir debilitating memories and emotions.

Psychologists say there will likely be people struggling with social anxiety for the first time when we finally hang up the masks. Grumbling through them only as needed, working from home, and just generally avoiding one another makes for rusty social skills, and the sweet anonymity that piece of cloth provides will be hard for some to give up.

Given all the reasons someone may choose to mask up (Covid prevention notwithstanding) or insist that they just can't, I'd like to see us start to give one another just a bit more grace. Remember that the next person you see--mask or no mask--is every bit the human being you are with all the complex and layered emotions and experiences to go with it. Their political leanings or lack of care for their fellow man could have nothing to do with their choice. I don't suggest you try to get up in their germs, LOL, but try to remember that we're all just doing the very best we can through unprecedented times.

XO,

Dina

Reimagining the Standards of Beauty: An Unlikely Pioneer

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 17:47:42 GMT

Remember when people only purchased their clothes in brick-and-mortar stores, and you’d have to nervously wiggle into a potential purchase in a fitting room?

I’ve heard it said (or perhaps just convinced myself) that the lighting in fitting rooms is the least flattering lighting in existence. I’ve even been in stores where I could swear they had trick mirrors…

Sure, there were the moments when that sent-from-above pair of denim hugged every curve just so (the credit card never flew out of my purse so fast), but for the rare outing like that, I’d endure try-on after try-on, each one leaving me more deflated than the last. Sometimes to the point where I wished someone would come peel me off the floor. Maybe stroke my hair a bit…as they tell me I’m beautiful just the way I am…

I can’t be the only one with a memory or two like that?

And when swimsuit season rolled around…lord, give me strength!

I got to thinking about those fitting room days as I watched The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit runway show last weekend.

When you think of Sports Illustrated and their annual Swimsuit Edition, what comes to mind? I remember spying it in the grocery checkout line in my youth. The glossy-legged, well-endowed, statuesque specimens on the cover resembled not a single person I knew in real life, but that didn’t stop me from feeling inadequate and average in their presence.

It was a magazine your pervy brother might want to get his hands on. A kind of almost propaganda, seemingly aimed at making women feel crummy and filling men’s heads with farfetched fantasies; the kind no mortal female could live up to.

Whatever their intentions, Sports Illustrated was making a buck while filling our heads with complexes of all kinds. I have to think magazines like that were at least partly responsible for a walk of shame or two out of a fitting room in my teens.

I had heard about Sports Illustrated’s efforts in recent years to promote diversity and inclusivity but assumed it was a fad, a marketing strategy aimed at taking advantage of our eagerness for greater representation.

Apparently, around 2016, the magazine began including different shapes, sizes, cultures, and identities in their lineup, and this year’s annual runway event was touted as the most diverse group yet. Skeptical that the magazine passed around my former high school’s ma le locker room back in the day could ever truly represent people like you and me, I had to see for myself.

Well, there was no need for skepticism. I had goosebumps within the first five minutes. Gone was the parade of “supermodel” clones and, in its place, a cornucopia of colors, shapes, sizes, and ages. From the young model who rolled down the runway in a wheelchair to the so-called “plus-sized” models (which, can we stop calling them that yet?), to all five feet, two inches of the 57-year-old rookie model who owned the catwalk like a pro; this was a celebration of true-to-life, unfiltered beauty. Not just lip service, but an all-in acknowledgment that a woman comfortable in her skin—whatever that skin looks like—is the epitome of sexy. As I took it all in, my goosebumps gave way to tears.

The fashion industry tends to float in that perfect, glossy print world where flaws are scarce or else overt and intentional. But this turned all that on its head. Sports Illustrated may as well have been giving the finger to its Swimsuit Issue of yesteryear. And boy, am I here for that.

Social media Influencer Alex Light was on the same page as she praised the swimsuit show online. “Imagine if we had all grown up seeing images more like this from the catwalk? Women of different shapes and sizes, not just one type of beauty that was highly unattainable for most women …I hazard a guess that body image would not be as bad as it is right now. Don’t you?”

The chorus of concurrence from Alex’s followers and messages of gratitude on Sports Illustrated’s social media accounts further elucidated just how desperate we are for more of the real and the raw.

Thinking back to being confronted by the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in my youth (or any of the numerous shrines to a singular idea of feminine beauty), I wondered about Alex’s question: How would things have been different if the women on those magazines, on billboards, on TV, et al., had looked like me and my peers? Would I have spent less time feeling shame about the parts of me that didn’t “measure up?”

When you think about what really turns you on about the people you love, it’s rarely perfection. And yet, people still edit the images of themselves they share on social media. Will stretch marks or cellulite ever become en vogue? We can hope. But they sure looked sexy as hell on that runway. I pray for women everywhere that the tide is finally shifting.

X.O.

Dina

Go, Go, JoJo!

Mon, 14 Jun 2021 03:52:25 GMT

Whether we like it or not, market research has shown that over one-third of kids describe social-media stars as role models. It seems the term "influencer" is pretty apropos. If you're like me, you're often concerned about just who is doing the influencing…

While frequently facing criticism for her loud and proud bows, sparkles, and unicorns, JoJo Siwa is a breath of fresh air in a sea of child stars who seem all too eager to grow up. Accuse her of clinging to her Rainbow Brite aesthetic just to keep the cash rolling in, and you may get one of her patented, playful clap-backs.

"I don't really care about what they say, I'mma come back like a boomerang."

-Boomerang by JoJo Siwa

Delightfully wholesome and contagiously joyful, Siwa is nothing if not fearlessly authentic. And I’m so here for it.

Young JoJo first came to the public's attention as a reality TV star, appearing on shows like Dance Moms. In one memorable episode, coach Abby Lee Miller told Jojo's mom (Jessalyn) that her daughter couldn't wear her (now trademark) bow. JoJo grinned as her mother relayed Abby's decree. "That's it, I'm wearing a bigger bow!"

JoJo told Today in 2019 that her patented bows signify more than just good taste. "When you see a kid or someone wearing a JoJo bow, you know that they're a Siwanator [JoJo Siwa super-fan], which means they are kind, they are nice, they are strong, they are powerful, they love everyone, they support everyone, they want to be your friend, they want to be everyone's friend." (She's sold tens of millions of her JoJo bows.)

If the criticism she's faced over the years for her "immature" presentation has yet to tone her look down, nothing will. JoJo does her own thing, and she's not too worried what you think about it. Standing for friendship, love, joy, and staying true to oneself, she's a shimmery, sequined firecracker in a drab and often pessimistic world.

At their third meeting, the president of Viacom Nick elodeon's consumer products told JoJo, "You know, you don't have to come to these meetings all, JoJo. You can just come normal." The teen shot back without hesitation: "Pam, we have to have a talk because I need you to know that this is my normal. This is my life...There is no other person. I literally am JoJo. I wear the bright clothes every day. I wear the sparkly hair bows. I wear the high-top shoes. I sing the fun music. I talk really loud. I talk fast, and I talk a lot. This is who I am.'"

And she's literally never broken character. There have been no scandals or indiscretions that might indicate her wholesome, spunky, sparkly personality is a façade.

Mainstream critics have decided she's the real deal, with Time magazine even naming her one of the 100 Most Influential People of 2020. Hers is an influence I can totally get behind for the youngsters in our lives. Heck, even us adults could take a cue from JoJo.

Siwa graced the cover of People earlier this year after coming out as gay on social media. ( "I like queer…Technically I would say that I am pansexual because that's how I have always been my whole life is just like, my human is my human." ) JoJo went on to gush that she's the happiest she's ever been since falling in love with her girlfriend.

Siwanators are never surprised by JoJo’s courage and candor. And true to form, JoJo didn't let the haters get her down. "My thing is, I don't want people to watch my videos or buy my merchandise if they aren't going to support not only me but the LGBTQ community."

Her ferocity and quick wit make it easy to forget she's just eighteen years old. Let the naysayers say what they will about her “childlike” attire.

That's the thing about being authentic: Not everyone will like you. It takes courage.

JoJo could easily silence her critics by adopting earth tones and relegating her bows to the trash. Or make a handful of critical parents happy by keeping her sexuality a secret. But despite her tender age, JoJo seems to know that having the courage to be yourself is the secret to joy, freedom, and no regrets.

And this Pride Month, JoJo has every reason to feel proud. Because what is Pride about if not courage and authenticit y—even in the face of haters? Not to mention, I can't think of anyone who rocks a rainbow better than Miss Siwa.

XO,

Dina B.

Nine Secrets of Women with Beautiful Skin

Thu, 03 Jun 2021 14:38:38 GMT

1. They throw shade.

Women with beautiful skin know that skipping sunscreen is a dealbreaker. The sun's rays are overwhelmingly to blame for aging our skin. Think dark spots, fine lines, wri nkles, larger pores, loss of collagen. Not cute.

No matter what the latest anti-aging potion promises, sunscreen reigns supreme as the king of skincare. Look for a broad-spectrum SPF, preferably 30 or higher, and make it a morning must. And no, the SPF in your makeup doesn't count.

2. They're religious

Women with incredible skin don't skip their morning and evening skincare routine. They cleanse, gently exfoliate, and moisturize, and wouldn't dream of wearing makeup to bed! Even after the most miserably long day, the prospect of clogged pores, acne, or dull, drab skin makes skipping their ritual a non-starter. After a glass or three of wine, what's worse than waking up with a headache? Waking up with a headache and crappy skin!

3. They’re not gonna flake.

We shed dead skin cells on the daily, but our natural skin turnover slows as we age.

Regular exfoliation promotes clear skin, collagen production and allows for flawless makeup application.

Everyone's skin has different needs, so some trial and error may be necessary. Certain complexions can handle daily exfoliation, while others only need twice-weekly sloughing sessions.

Gone are the days of your trusty apricot scrub. Ouch! Skincare products with gentle acids like salicylic, lactic, glycolic, or mandelic acid have a gradual peeling effect.

If you must scrub, be gentle! Getting overzealous can lead to micro-tears, compromise the skin barrier, and/or cause broken capillaries. Listen to your skin. If it's red, raw, or sensitive, back off or try a different product.

4. They hit the bottle.

Women with flawless skin know that ample H20 is essential for their health and keeps their skin on fleek. The Mayo Clinic recommends between 11.5 cups (8 fl oz x 11.5 ) for the average healthy female. Around 20% of our hydration comes from the food we eat, so aim for about eight 8oz glasses of water each day to get your skin glowing.

5. They're picky eaters.

Eating healthy is good for our health, our figure, and our face.

With age, our natural collagen stores decrease. Collagen is the very framework of our skin, giving it structure and keeping it plump. Foods high in protein help your body produce collagen. And antioxidant-rich veggies and fruit protect the precious collagen we still have.

No one likes to hear this, but if luminous skin is on your wish list, you'll want to limit your intake of sweets and refined carbs. When sugar binds with protein in the body, a process called glycation disrupts healthy collagen deposition. The result is crinkly, wrinkly, sagging skin over time. Told ya this one’s no fun!

6. They get sweaty.

Exercise gets the blood moving, delivering nutrients a nd oxygen to the skin. Working up a sweat doesn't have to happen on a stair master, either (though I hear that's a great way to sculpt the booty). You can get your blood pumping on a brisk walk, chasing your kiddos around, or cranking your favorite music and busting out your best moves. Choose a form of exercise you enjoy and are likely to stick with.

7. They get to bed.

I mean, it's called beauty sleep for a reason. Parental and professional obligations can stress us out and make it hard to get enough shut-eye. But stress and exhaustion can show up on our skin. Six to eight hours of quality sleep gives your mind, body, and skin the time it needs to repair and refresh.

8. They've got the secret sauce.

There are boatloads of skincare products out there, so it's natural to feel overwhelmed when it comes to building a regimen. Women with great skin know that effective skincare comes down to quality, targeted ingredients. Ingredients like alpha and beta hydroxy acids, Vitamin C, peptides, hyaluronic acid, retinol, ceramides, and niacinamide improve skin texture and tone.

The most trusted source for hype-worthy skincare is a skincare professional. Medical-grade products contain the highest quality ingredients and undergo rigorous testing. And don't underestimate the benefit of guidance from a qualified professional. They're familiar with the products they offer and will recommend one suited to your skin type and concerns. This can eliminate wasteful "trial-and-error" spending, and assuming results are the goal, you'll surely see a return on your investment.

9. They have help.

It would be next to impossible to adhere to everything on this list every single day. (I'm just not passing on the occasional piece of chocolate!) But even with unwavering devotion to caring for one's skin, aging happens to one degree or another. That's where professional treatments and injectables can pick up the slack.

While all of the above can help you attain beautiful skin, make sure the skin you have in mind is actually attainable. Real skin doesn't come with a filter or digital effects. It has pores and flaws and looks like...well, skin.

But for real - with visible pores and some wrinkles and all - your skin can be beautiful!

XO,

Dina B.

The Zac Attack

Mon, 03 May 2021 04:29:15 GMT

I should be used to the commotion that ensues anytime a celeb is spotted looking even slightly amiss, but when I saw Zac Efron trending last week for “sparking plastic surgery rumors,” I was bummed.

The actor made an appearance on a Facebook Watch video in honor of Earth Day when fans pointed out he looked different somehow.

See Zac on Bill Nye’s Earth Day the Musical

Speculation (and headlines) swirled, and all I kept thinking is that we have no way of knowing what's really going on with Zac. After all, a cosmetic procedure is hardly the only reason one might look a bit abnormal on any given day.

As a society, we've seemingly forgotten that celebrities are human beings with real-life problems and feelings. And if you think beautiful people don't have hang-ups about their appearance, think again.

Zac has spoken out a few times about how his Hollywood career has had an impact on his relationship with food. When the topic of his Baywatch bod came up on the YouTube show, Hot Ones, Zac explained why he would never want to go through the experience again:

"You're working with almost no wiggle room, right? You've got things like water under your skin that you're worrying about, making your six-pack into a four-pack. S*** like that, it's just not … it's just stupid."

See Zac on Hot Ones here

Appearing on Ellen, the actor again clarified how hard he worked to attain his Baywatch physique:

"That's too big…for guys; that's unrealistic…I don't want people to think that's the best way to be. Be your size. I don't want to glamorize this. "

Zac on Ellen promoting Baywatch

Last summer Netflix debuted a documentary featuring Efron titled Down to Earth. In it, he travels the world to learn how different cultures live healthy, sustainable lives. In one episode, between bites of pasta he'd helped prepare in Sardinia, Zac begins to visibly well up. Anyone who's had a complicated relationship with food feels a pang of recognition when he reveals how happy he is to be eating carbs again. "When I shot Baywatch," he shares, "I didn't have a carb for six months. I almost lost my mind….You… you need this." Amen, Zac.

Zac on Netflix’s Down to Earth

Add to the above how transparent Efron has been about the pressures that ultimately led to him checking into rehab for substance abuse, and it breaks my heart to picture him waking up to tweets like the following piling up:

Imagine being praised for your dashing good looks your whole life, having those looks tied intrinsically to your career/ income, and knowing when you step outside, untold numbers of people hope to get your photo. Add to that the knowledge that the moment Hollywood meets a younger version of you, your lucrative contracts will start to dry up. You couldn't pay me enough to deal with that kind of soul-crushing pressure! (Ok, how much are we talking, though?)

But seriously, is it any wonder plastic surgery is a bonafide hobby for many celebrities? Pretend for a moment that Zac really did have work done: Can we really blame him for buckling under that enormous weight? Or what if Zac has had enough of pushing his body to be a certain way and wants to enjoy life a little? Can we not give him the grace to do so?

Look, I don't know Zac any more than the plastic surgeons quoted in the tabloids do. What I do know is that human beings are so much more than the way our face might look at any given moment.

Recall that just months before Chadwick Boseman lost his years-long battle with colon cancer, tabloids broke stories about his rapid weight loss. One outlet even called him "deathly skinny." I shudder to think some unknowing fan could've assumed he'd chosen to slim down and expressed distaste for his "new look."

Or how many times has an actress had her disordered eating reinforced by praise from the tabloids--or Twitter? Yep, even positive words about someone's appearance can do harm.

We shouldn't be content to be part of a culture that takes to social media with our knee-jerk reaction a nytime someone looks remotely off. Next time (and there’s sure to be a next time), we should all pause, take a breath, and think about the many personal and sometimes painful things that can impact someone’s appearance. Sitting on your hands also does the trick in a pinch.

XO,

Dina

Keeping it Real in a Face-tuned World

Thu, 15 Apr 2021 01:20:12 GMT

If you don't "keep up" with the Kardashian's, you may have missed the latest scandal. They're not everyone's cup of tea, but stay with me. This particular kerfuffle really got me thinking…

The scoop:

An "unauthorized" (unedited) bikini photo of Khloe Kardashian started making the rounds on social media last week. Fans were taken aback at how different—and real—Khloe looked. It was unlike her usual glamorous publicity shots, where everything from her waistline to her facial features are impossibly proportioned and perfected.

It didn't take long for the Kardashian machine to wield its impressive influence (and legal team) to have the photo removed wherever possible. Several social media accounts were warned or locked because they'd shared the "unauthorized" snap. The Kardashian's chief of marketing referred to the photo as "color edited," a subtle suggestion that the more organic-looking snap was doctored somehow. She went on to say that despite looking beautiful, Khloe was within her rights to have it removed.

The thing is, she did look beautiful. Beautiful in a way that few of her 136 million Instagram followers had ever seen. Sure, her hip to waist ratio may be a bit less extreme, her face less contoured, her skin less glistening…but if this thirty-six-year-old mother was your friend, you'd applaud her for her fantastic figure, gorgeous smile, and confidence.

Khloe—whose clothing label Good American claims to represent "body acceptance," took to Instagram to explain her concerns with the picture. Her followers got a show of her stripping naked, covering her breasts with her hands. She joked in the caption that she went live, so she couldn't be accused of retouching anything.

Along with attempting to set the record straight about her appearance, she wrote a lengthy diatribe about how the ridicule, pressure, and judgment she receives "has been too much to bear." Khloe asserted she would continue editing her photos as she sees fit, comparing it to makeup, nails, or a pair of heels she might wear to be seen a certain way.

The Fallout:

Many fans felt Khloe was sending mixed messages. On the one hand, she acknowledged the heavy burden of the standards she feels pressure to meet. On the other hand, she wants to be seen "accurately."

Khloe wrote that critical comments motivated her to get in "the best shape of her life." One might take her message to mean that working on your body image means working on your body.

(It doesn't.) A few commenters pointed out how the Kardashians themselves bear some responsibility for the same standards Khloe was railing against.

I couldn't help but feel sad reading Khloe's statement. It reads like someone desperate for love and acceptance that she can't yet give herself. Like many women, she has contempt for society's impossible beauty ideals while still struggling daily to live up to them. Many felt Khloe missed an opportunity to free herself from the burdensome façade she created and initiate a very different conversation.

The Moral

Two studies from 2018 and 2019 demonstrated that Instagram causes a negative self-perception and a tendency for young women to objectify themselves. ^, Another study published in the journal New Media and Society (2019) found that young women felt happier, more satisfied, and appreciative of their bodies after viewing body-positive content on Instagram.

Try curating your online experience so that you're only following accounts that make you feel good. Comparing yourself to people on social media will only leave you feeling dissatisfied. You're not them, and that's actually your superpower. They might not be them either— see what I did there? People who hide behind these editing tools and techniques are maybe the least happy of all. Along with their clear disapproval of certain aspects of their appearance is the emptiness of receiving praise for a manufactured version of themselves. One of the bravest and most beautiful things you can do is to be YOU. Unapologetically, irrevocably, take me or leave me, YOU. Once you wholly accept yourself (with or without injectables!), it won't matter what anyone else thinks. That goes for you too, Khloe.

XO,

Dina B.

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The Beauty Rules: 1980s

How beauty standards have changed over time and why we should stop paying them any mind.

The decade of decadence

The downside of having it all

Eighties’ beauty ideals

Reverberations

Thin-ideal internalization

X.O.

Dina B. ﻿

The Beauty Rules: 1970s

How beauty standards have changed over time and why we should stop paying them any mind.

Fierce females of the 1970s ﻿

The sexual revolution

Superwoman syndrome

The decade of Wonder Woman

The downside of having it all

Deadly repercussions

Myth busting

X.O.

Dina B. ﻿

The Beauty Rules: 1960s

How beauty standards have changed over time and why we should stop paying them any mind.

The decade of change

Mod and a frail bod

Beauty bondage endures

X.O.

Dina B.

The Beauty Rules

How beauty standards have changed over time and why we should stop paying them any mind.

In the 1950s

The Bombshell Era

Indoctrination

Deep Impact

X.O.

Dina B.

Are You Aging “Gracefully?"

XO,

Dina B.

The Myth of Perfect Facial Symmetry

XO,

Dina B.

Zoom Dysmorphia: How the Pandemic Made Us Feel Ugly

F**k 2020.

﻿

The Shift

To Make Matters Worse

The Impact

The Future

To Cope

XO,

Dina B.

Piece of Me: How a Greedy Media Cashed in on Stigma, Helping to Seal Britney’s Fate

XO,

Dina B.

Masking Up: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Ugly (Let's get it out of the way, shall we?)

The Good

The Bad

XO,

Dina

Reimagining the Standards of Beauty: An Unlikely Pioneer

X.O.

Dina

Go, Go, JoJo!

"I don't really care about what they say, I'mma come back like a boomerang."

XO,

Dina B.

Nine Secrets of Women with Beautiful Skin

1. They throw shade.

2. They're religious

3. They’re not gonna flake.

4. They hit the bottle.

﻿

5. They're picky eaters.

6. They get sweaty.

7. They get to bed.

8. They've got the secret sauce.

9. They have help.

XO,

Dina B.

Fierce females of the 1970s

Dina B.